Losing it

I lost it
That which I never hoped I had
But in secrecy knew I did
I have lost it

And yes I feel empty
When the breeze tussles my hair
As they fall loose, disheveled
Like a cascade of mourning
Limbs of a obscure octopus
That now has taken over my mind
I feel occupied
By the emptiness
That haunts me.

At least then there was you
And your chai stains upon my desk
Where you left that cup every time.
At least then there was the ghost of you.

But even in this loneliness
I cannot remember
If it was you who took it away from me
Did you drag it by its hair
As it screamed and kicked like a child
Or did you simply hold its hand and guide
It through as it hesitantly waited by the doorstep
It was you wasn’t it?

And yes now am empty

And have been so,
Ever since your ghost had
Set me free.

Empty.